So no Tori!

This is my samui Japanese joke:

A-san: Asoko no tori desu ka? あそこの鳥ですか?(Do you mean that bird?)
B-san: So no Tori!その通り!(exactly!)

so no tori "exactly" sounds the same as "that bird."

Kankeinai!

This is one of my Japanese faux pas that is a running joke in my family. I said this:

Junko:  Kankeinai.(関係ない) "It has nothing to do with it."
Jason:  Kankeru.(かんける) "Yes it does."

The correct response is "kankei aru".